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http://www.psychologyinlife.com/

Expectation Confirmation

Expectation confirmation is the social phenomenon where you form expectations of someone’s personality and then seek evidence from their actions confirming the expectations. All other actions are ignored or taken lightly.

First impressions

When you meet someone for the first time, they leave an impression on you. They could have been extremely nice and charming. This becomes an expectation. Whenever you think about this person from then on, you will think of how nice and how charming they are.

Your friend: “Hey have you met Jake? He’s pretty annoying right?”

You: “Yeah I met him. No he’s really nice, he helped me with everything and he was so charming.”

You will go on and on about how nice this person is and you won’t believe your friend who says he’s annoying. You might listen to him but inside you won’t believe your friend because of the expectations that you’ve already formed.

Confirmation

Every subsequent time you meet this new person, you will automatically seek out his actions that agree with your expectations. All other actions will pass by unnoticed by you, for the most part. Obviously there’s an extent to which this is true, if the guy’s a complete jackass then your expectations blow up in your face.

However, if your friend has bitched about this new person to you, then you’ll also seek out his actions that agree with your friend. This is slightly different in that you’re actively searching for it, whereas normally you’re searching for confirmation automatically.

Less and less

Let’s say you become friends with this nice and charming person. The first few times you met him, you noticed some stuff that confirmed your expectations of him. Now it’s solid in your mind, he is nice and charming.

What happens is that as you get to know someone better, you begin characterising them more and more. If your initial expectations are continuously confirmed, then you will characterise them more and more on your initial expectations. This means that if the person was really nice and charming in the first meeting, he can be less and less nice and charming in subsequent meetings, but you’ll have characterised them as being really nice and charming.

Usefulness in life

Expectation confirmation is psychology in life, the reason why people say “First impressions are most important”. They are the most important. When you meet someone new, act very nice to them. Be gallant, outgoing, charming, smart. Then every time you meet them, you can be act less and less nice, as long as you perform some nice deeds here and there.

Soon enough you don’t have to act at all, just be yourself and you’ll still be known for how nice you are. How great is this everyday psychology?

That said, you can watch out for yourself. If someone’s really nice when you first meet them, don’t be fooled. Lots of people aren’t nice. Don’t assume anything and don’t make any expectations. Of course it can’t be helped, but it doesn’t hurt to pay attention in subsequent meetings and to keep your guard up.

Introvert vs Extrovert

Introverts and Extroverts. Which is better? Which is worse? How can you tell which one you are?

What is an “introvert”?

Surely you’ve heard the term sometime during your life. An introvert is someone who prefers keeping to themselves, someone who enjoys the quiet life. They tend to be more reserved and less outgoing than others, preferring to read, write, draw, spend time on the computer or other less social activities. It’s important to note that being an introvert is not the same as being shy. Shyness is when someone avoids social interaction out of fear and awkwardness, whereas introversion is when someone chooses to avoid social interaction out of preference.

What is an “extrovert”?

The complete opposite. Extroverts tend to enjoy social interaction and are less reserved with their feelings and thoughts. They tend to enjoy sports and other exciting activities and they are usually the life of the party. In a high school playground, the jocks would be the extroverts and the nerds would be the introverts.

Which one am I?

Well, the fact that you’re on the computer reading my blog indicates that you probably enjoy spending lots of time on the computer meaning you’re introverted. Probably. Think about how you act in social situations (and be honest to yourself, no one’s judging you). Do you see yourself as the person laughing at everyone’s jokes or the person making all the jokes? Do you enjoy spending time on the computer a bit too much?

Here’s a question for you. If you could start life all over, would you choose to be extroverted or introverted? I’m going to assume you said extroverted. That’s completely normal, society encourages extroversion. The cool people are always the ones that are outgoing, the nerdy people are always the ones that are on the computer or doing stuff by themselves.

There is definitely a horrible stigma associated with the introverted lifestyle.

Nothing wrong with being introverted

Interestingly, extroverts are never jealous of introverts yet many introverts are hugely jealous of extroverts. I would think that this is because extroverts just don’t understand why an introvert would prefer to be alone. However, it is easy to be envious of someone with lots of friends. This is the status quo of the world and it won’t change until introverts grow some confidence.

If you’re an introvert, how many times have you looked at the popular guy or the hot babe at a party and wished “God I wish I was like that”? If I asked why, would you be able to answer? They work well in social groups, so what? I’m sure you have a talent that’s far better than being able to talk to people. For example, introverts are more likely to enjoy computing and programming than extroverts. This world and our lifestyle is being dominated by computers and technology. Talking to people will always be the same, computers will change the world.

Change who you are

If you don’t like who you are, you can always change. Personality traits can be shaped according to your will. Sure it takes a bit of time and dedication, but the way you act and feel is completely up to you. If you’re introverted, you can learn how to act in an extroverted manner in social situations. If you’re extroverted, well then it’s a lot harder seeing as you’ll find introverted activities boring and tedious.

I for one am introverted, but I can be extroverted at times. It’s a good balance.

Psychology in life

So how can this psychology be used in everyday life? You can improve your lifestyle by learning how to be more extroverted and making more friends. Yes, it might be daunting but you must realise that being introverted does not make anyone like you. Social interaction is the key to a healthy lifestyle. That said, enjoying introverted activities doesn’t hurt. Extreme introverts will not want to make more friends and will enjoy life in their current situation. It all depends on your preferences and what you want out of life. If you are truly unhappy with your social status and lifestyle, then learn how to change.

How People Think

Everyday psychology. How many times have you been in a situation where you wish you knew what some person was thinking? Then read on.

How people think

“What’s she thinking?”
“Are they talking about me?”
“I think he likes me! Do you think he notices me?”

These are all common questions and everyone in life asks them. Now I’m going to tell you the secrets of psychology, how to read people’s thoughts! Just kidding. If you really believed that, you need to see a psychiatrist, or go back to school. I’m afraid there is no easy way to figure out what she’s thinking.

Intuition: The natural guessing game

Even though you can’t completely read other people’s thoughts, you can usually guess what the person is thinking. Everyone is born with some degree of intuition. It’s like a sixth sense. Sometimes you just get this strange feeling that tells you what you need to know. How cool is that? We have this natural guessing machine programmed into our bodies.

Sometimes you have to trust this intuition, the gut feeling. Obviously it won’t be correct 100% of the time, but it’s pretty accurate. Now, it’s actually quite hard to trust our intuition. In a sense, you’re taking a random guess based on what you ‘felt was the correct answer’. You and I are both human beings, and human beings are dirty pigs rational. Rational people tend not to take random guesses.

What you have to realise is that the gut feelings that you feel is actually your subconscious making a decision based on the available information. It automatically chooses the best answer (note: best answer, not necessarily the correct one) and tells you.

Obviously there’s an extent to how accurate your intuition is. Use your intuition and try to consolidate the facts, don’t assume everything based on your intuition. Rational thinking should always follow your gut feeling.

Step into his or her shoes

As much as you’d like to think so, you’re not that unique. All human beings think alike. You and I think alike. Sometimes all you have to do is imagine what you would think about if you were in that other person’s shoes. For instance, can you guess what I’m thinking now?

Put yourself in my shoes. I’m sitting in front of my Macbook writing my very first blog. There’s not much I could be thinking about. Now, you should’ve realised that I’m thinking about making a good blog. I know it seems simple, in fact, it is simple!

People think in simple terms. Don’t assume that everyone has complex thinking. Think about their situation and what you would think about in that situation.

Concluding statements

You will never be able to tell what a person is thinking to a 100% degree of accuracy. You can however, make a list of what they could be thinking and choose the best answer. Try it out sometime.

Don’t forget that intuition is a great tool. If you’re thinking too much or not at all, listen to your gut.